- I got bit by a vampire and I liked it.
- I'm a Virgin (this is a very old T shirt)
- There's no I in team ..and there's no I in 'Go Fuck Yourself' either.
- Cancel my subscription, 'cause I don't need your issues.
- Man Up!
- I’m the person your mother warned you about.
- We should forgive our enemies, but only after they’ve been taken out and shot.
- Never kick a man unless he’s down.
- There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting.
- Work is the curse of the drinking class.
- How can I love you if you won’t lie down ?
- Put on your seat belt… I wanna try something.
- Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon.
- I’m not unemployed, I’m a consultant.
- I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
- My Dog Can Lick Anyone.
- People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
- There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.
- Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
- Excuse me, but do I look like someone who cares?
- The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
- I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
- If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
- Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
- It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
- Your Boyfriend Thinks I’m Hot.
- This is my drinking shirt.
- I can resist everything except temptation.
- Us blondes aren’t dumb.
- Wasted All The Time.
- Life’s Too Short To Date Ugly Women.
- Blonde and proud of it.
- I’m with Stupid.
- I don’t need no Educashun.
- Florida: the place where old people go to die.
- Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt.
- I’m not perfect but parts of me are.
- Work sucks but I need the bucks.
- Go fast, turn left!
- Dont blame me, I was born Awesome!
- Lets play carpenter first we’ll get hammered and then i’ll nail you….
- I’m not bossy… I just have better ideas.
- Virginity is a disease….. and i’m the Doctor.
- A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
- If plugging it in doesn’t help, then try turning it on.
- Drive defensively, buy a tank!
- Thank you for calling tech support, your ignorance is my job security.
- If I throw a stick, will you leave?
- FAILURE is not an option, it comes all bundled up with the software.
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